2nd Aug 2009, Living Room, 21.09

Ten Things you should Know About Me
10. I make a lot of lists.
9. I'm a student.
8. I drive a fancy car. That probably doesn't really suit my personality. I am compensating.

7. I have one eye bigger than the other. I think.
6. I've kept a diary since I was around seven. It appears I have always been this geeky.

5. I love writing and sketching and my aim this year is to improve vastly in both.
4. Someone said I have the potential to have good taste in things but I am generally not interested in them. I'd say this is fairly accurate. I have terrible taste.

3. I am a petsitter.

2. I'm a vegetarian and like to consider myself to have traditional morals.

1. I have a slight problem when it comes to shoes. And food. OK, it's a big problem.

• I suppose down on paper I sound quite normal. I've got a nice car, run my own business, I'm not entirely hopeless at small talk. It all sounds good until someone asks me from I'm from. I mumble something that sounds like "Maesteg." This is often followed by a baffled look, promting me to further explain my geographical location five months of the year. I am from the county of Bridgend, the suicidal town, I explain. Nervous smile. Most will at this point make pleasantries and excuse themselves. The half that stay I find are usually a little too interested in my morbid little town and I find myself slowly backing away from them. Arms raised in the air.

• I probably drink more than I should. I definately eat more than I should. And some days, I look in my shoe cupboard and wonder how much I've actually spent over the years on the little gems. I don't really have much of a job either. Financially I'm a bit of a mess and always have been. While dog watching can be very amusing we are in the middle of a recession, and people definately seem more concerned with the luxuries like buying new shoes than putting fluffy up in a doggy hotel for the night. Natch.

• I guess my aim of this first blog was to give a bit of a background of myself. I'm trying to think of some sordid secrets I have. Other than my weird eye thing I'm kinda coming up short. I can't add up but that isn't much of a secret I guess. People often laugh, but I find it a very serious issue. A handicap if you might. I have never understood how, if someone owes you £4.40, when they say "Here's the 40p!" and look at me as if they've helped me a great deal. They bloody well haven't. I'm confused to no end and have no idea how much I'm now supposed to give them. Many people have tried to explain but I figure I just give them an extra pound now and don't ask why, that's just what experience has taught me. Either that, or someone's been seriously ripping me off for the last few years. Come to think of it maybe that's where my financial problems arose from. I'm pretty sure I don't have that many shoes.